The SECRET behind (and INSIDE) Rightwing Conservatives

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Right-wing radical Republicanism is not an ideology or philosophy,
nor is it a function of any Earthly public or private interest at all.

Altair44 has obtained excerpts from a recent unpublished report based on
ultra-classified, deep-secret research, which has revealed that
this destructive and joyfully hideous "political" "movement" is actually
not political, nor is it a movement----It results simply from the insertion into a person,
of a parasitic alien worm of undetected origin which consumes the brain and
spinal chord and assumes complete control over the empty shell it has now
made of its former human victim.

As of this time, the alien worms' Origin and ultimate intentions are entirely unknown.

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A photographic image of an alien worm, stolen from GOP headquarters


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Surgery to remove a worm from
an infected (i.e. extreme rightwing) person was a failure;The patient died.

At this time, the infection cannot be reversed, which would be
meaningless anyway, since, after any significant length of time,
the victim's entire brain and nervous system
would long since have been digested and excreted as waste.
Everything they ever were, or thought or felt or remembered
as sentient beings on this earth,
would basically be turned to poop.

Worm poop.

And, alas...even the poop would be gone.

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A new Republican is made!

Whoever he was before, regardless of what he may have felt or thought...
When he wakes up it will be:
"tax cuts", "Free Trade", "GWOT" and "Bush is Jesus" 24/7!


Excerpt:

"The incapacitated victim is gingerly approached
by the worm,
which, in a weird sort of foreplay,
attaches itself to the neck,
before entering the spinal column via
a large bite-hole it will soon make with its
hedge-clipper strength mandibles..."

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A small, immature specimen of the alien worm similar to
the type inhabiting the skull and spinal column of
rightwing Republicans, in a specially-prepared
saline macro-slide.

When mature, It is capable of
eating and digesting an entire adult human
brain and nervous system
within several minutes of insertion,
after which it grows in size to fill
the entire skull and spinal column void
left after the brain and nerve matter
is excreted as waste.

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